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‘Hey dumbass, you’re lucky your dumb ass didn’t catch anything.’
I look down at the papers Dr. Kaplan handed me. I was sweating bullets ever since she called me in this morning for my STD and HIV tests, and I’m lucky that I didn’t catch anything from my little ‘sexcapade’ last month.
‘Use a condom next time, dumbass,’ I continue to berate myself. I can’t help it. I was beyond lucky that Q was clean and that I didn’t end up pregnant. Especially with me not being on the pill and not using any contraceptives.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” I chant to myself as I slap my forehead to match each word. “Forgive me, momma.”
Leaving my university’s health center, I let my eyes adjust to the change of lighting. It was a lot brighter outside, the sun shining brightly on this exceptionally warm autumn day. The landscape was already littered with the reds, yellows and oranges of the trees’ fallen leaves, and for just a moment, I reminisce back to my childhood, when my sister and I would jump onto piles of leaves and search for the prettiest leaves to press in our books.
‘From now on, I’ll only be jumping leaves instead of bones,” I mumble to myself, miserable even after knowing my results.
Ever since my fallout with Q, I have not been back to his room. I avoid him at all costs, opting to study at the library than in my room like I normally do. My roommate Ella keeps telling me when Q would stop by, but I’d just nod and change the subject. I feel bad because I was the reason why I felt awkward around him now. Even as I tell myself over and over that he doesn’t know that it was me, common sense knocks at the back of my head and reminds me that Q isn’t as dumb as I’d like him to be.
Shaking the thoughts away, I look down to check the time on my phone. And then, my hand tightens around it.
‘You gave your virginity away to somebody that isn’t even in your phone,’ common sense tells me. Oh great, as if I wasn’t feeling lower than dirt already.
“Stupid, estúpido, baka,” I start chanting in different languages, because guess what? My stupidity is universal.
With my eyes dancing listlessly around with no true direction, I end up at the library and accidentally bump into a hard body.
“Umph!” I yelp as I find myself on the floor, my test papers scattering. My face burns as I race to pick them up. Out of the corner of my eye, I realize the person I bumped into was picking one of them up. Mentally screaming, I rush over and snatch it out of his hand, hoping he didn’t see anything.
“Sorry, sorry! I didn’t mean to bump into you. And uh, thank you for helping…”
I shut up when I realize I’m talking to Otis. Crap. Crap, crap, holy fuck ME!
As I contemplate making a dash for the exit with my tail between my legs, Otis cracks a smile and pulls me into a side hug. “Dee! So this is where you’ve been hiding out.”
Fighting down the blush creeping across my cheeks, I shake my head and laugh nervously. “H-hide? Why would I be hiding?”
Otis shrugs. “I don’t know. Q just says he can’t find you whenever we ask about you. Jimmy and I were starting to think you were the master of Hide-and-Seek.”
Faking a smile, I start folding the papers in my hand and stuff them in the folder I was given at the health clinic. “Well then, it looks like it’s your turn to hide.”
Otis laughs and releases me from the hug that grew increasingly awkward with each passing moment.
“I would, but I actually came to the library to check out a few movies for this weekend.”
Curious, I look up at him. “What’s happening this weekend?”
With his cheeky smile, Otis started walking towards the circulation desk. Already caught, I decided to tag along for his answer.
“Nothing, really. Q is going home for Labor Day weekend and Jimmy is driving down to Las Vegas with a few of his buddies, so I have the room to myself.”
Pulling on my hair, I frown. “Oh, I’m sorry. If you start getting lonely, you can always hang with me and Ella.”
He grinned, and one of his dimples flashed at me. I didn’t even know he had dimples. “Thanks for the invite, but I’ll probably just watch these movies and play the game,” he explained as he finished checking out.
I smiled. “You know, I always watch you guys play Madden and I wish I was good enough to play.”
Otis threw me a sideways glance and I busied my hands with my hair. “A girl that wants to play Madden? Now that’s a first.”
I rolled my eyes. “I happen to like games; I just don’t have my own console to play on.”
Otis’ grin grew wider. “Well, how about later tonight you come over and let me stomp you on Madden?”
I paled and looked down at the ground. Noticing that I stopped, Otis turned and shot me a quizzical look. “Um, I’ll pass. I-I’m a sore loser and I’ll rage quit before we actually get anywhere in the game.”
“That’s okay. If you want, I can show you how to play first and I promise I won’t gloat if I win.”
Shit. Why’s he being so nice to me all of a sudden? I look up at him with suspicion. pendik escort “Why do you want me to hang out with you so badly?”
His grin faltered. “I don’t. You just said that you wished you could play Madden and I offered to play with you. You’re the one who suggested we hang out in the first place.” He turned and started for the exit again.
Feeling guilty, I caught up to him. “Sorry, Otis. I didn’t mean to make you sound clingy back there.” We were walking through the quad back to our dorm.
Otis looked over at me with an odd expression. “Are you alright, Dee?”
Eyes widening, it took me a moment to answer. ‘Why is he so damn perceptive?’
“I… uh- I’ve just had a lot going on and stuff to figure out,” I lamely answered.
Otis nodded. “College will do that to you.”
‘Oh, yeah,’ I grimly thought to myself.
Somebody call a doctor!
I can’t move. No, seriously, I’m frozen in front of Q’s door. My arm is raised as if I’m about to knock, but instead I just stand there looking at the dark wood two inches away from my face.
The events of ‘that night’ come rushing back and despite myself, I squirm with anticipation. I already know I’m moist; I can feel it pooling between my legs.
Gritting my teeth, I try to steel myself away from those teasing scenes of touching and grabbing, licking and moaning. Instead, I think back to how he tried to kiss me and embarrass me in front of Otis and Jimmy.
I get angry as soon as the memory comes back. It so thoroughly consumes that I don’t hear the door crack open.
“…Dee? What are you doing?” Otis asks me.
My mind immediately clears and I look up with a start. “Um… eh?” I say with confusion. “Um, that’s not right… I’m here!”
Otis kept his face steady, though I could see in his eyes that he was trying to hold back a laugh. “Indeed you are. Come on in,” he says, backing up so that I could enter.
Blanching, I simply nod. “Right.” As I walk past him, I find myself breathing in the scent of his cologne.
I enter the room and breathe a sigh of relief. ‘Good. Q isn’t here.’
“Jimmy and Q are already gone?” I ask as Otis begins setting up the TV.
“Yep,” Otis says as he looks for the cord he needs. “So, which is it? Madden or movie?”
Not really thinking, I answer. “Let’s do a movie first. I think I saw ‘Lion King’ in that stack of yours.”
Otis grinned. “Well, it is the greatest movie of all time. Movie it is.”
Before I knew it, the movie was going and Otis had arranged the futon. Handing me a blanket and a bowl of popcorn, Otis went to turn off the lights before taking a seat next to me…
Shit. We should’ve played the damn game first.
“Uh, Otis? Could you turn the lights back on?”
The previews still going, Otis looked at me and the light from the TV revealed his confused look. “I thought you would like the whole theater set up? You know, big screen, big sound, no lights.”
I glanced over at the monster of a screen the guys had brought in the second week of the school year. It took all three of them to move it in and mount it on the wall.
My heart thumping, I mentally shook myself and tried to focus on the ‘Toy Story’ preview. “You’re right. It’s better with the lights off.”
For the next hour, though, I couldn’t be more wrong. As hard as I tried, I just couldn’t watch one of my favorite movies because instead my mind assaulted me with my own personal movie of hair-pulling and skin-scratching. The whole time I was sitting there and I just kept getting wetter. I tried not to squirm, and luckily, Otis didn’t seem to notice. I did my best not to look at Q’s bed, but it was right next to me and I kept getting assaulted by the memories.
The memory of Q teasing the tip of my nipple with his tongue flickered across my retinas as “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?” began to play over my eardrums. My heart beat like a dancing drum as phantom moans and sighs finally drowned out everything around me. My hands tightened in the blanket Otis offered me, yet I forgot to catch the throaty moan that left my lips as I orgasmed.
My center tightened and released before I could process what was happening and now strong hands were gripping my shoulders. My eyes still glazed, they met the honey orbs belonging to an attractive face. My eyes roamed over his light brown skin, the golden freckles under his eyes and the smooth lips that curved up in concern. Before I knew what I was doing, my hands were gliding up his arms and over his chest, pushing him down on the futon and moving to place myself above him.
A leg moved up in between his thighs and my body angled itself so that he could get a good look at the milk chocolate skin that dipped down into my low-cut shirt. Suddenly, the jeans I was wearing were constricting, and I longed to have them off.
‘He’s so warm,’ my mind echoes through the fog. ‘I want to get closer,’ so I did. I press my curves against all his hard places and we meld together kağıthane escort beautifully. My tongue travels along the curve of his jaw, nipping at places that tasted of his cologne. ‘Mmmm… so good.’
My hunger rising once more, I couldn’t stop as my lips smashed against his, finally capturing them as my own. Salty butter teased my taste buds as I explored his mouth. ‘Yummy… tastes like popcorn.’
Popcorn. Movie… Lion King… Otis!
And then I woke up. This wasn’t a dream. This wasn’t a memory. This was real life and I was seducing Q’s roommate, my friend.
Yanking away, I moved off the futon and stood in the center of the room. I knew I looked crazy, because my eyes felt wide and I was looking from my hands to Otis and back to my hands. ‘What have I done?’ common sense finally yelps. Dammit! Where were you BEFORE?!
So busy was I in my thoughts that my senses failed me again. Suddenly I was being pulled against his body and his lips captured mine. His hands began to roam, dancing down the curve my back and over the curve of my backside. He lifted me up and I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist before I could think about what I was doing. But then I felt the pressure between my legs and I knew I had to stop what HE was doing.
Unlocking my legs and pulling away from him, my body did the first thing that came to mind.
My eyes widened as I looked at my hand. I looked at him and watched in horror as his hand rubbed at the spot my hand made contact.
“Sorry!” slipped out of my mouth, breaking the deadening silence that had begun between us. Out of the corner of my eye, I watch as Nala slowly lick Simba’s face. ‘We’re seducing the only alphas around us. Bad kitties.’
I looked up at Otis and stepped back, his eyes dark from whatever he was thinking. ‘Looks like he won’t be accepting that apology.’
“Sorry for what? Feeling me up or slapping me?” Otis asked, his voice laced with an emotion I couldn’t quite catch.
Blushing, I looked down at the floor. “Both,” I manage to whisper.
“Dammit, Dee. When I said you could come over to play some games, I didn’t mean this type of game.”
I watched him, confused as he walked away from me.
“I-I’m sorry. This was completely my fault.” I wanted to slap myself. ‘Now, look what you’ve gotten yourself into, you big pervert!’
“I really wish you hadn’t done that,” Otis softly replied.
“I shouldn’t have come over. Maybe if I had brought Ella…” All I wanted to do was run down to my room and lock myself in there forever. I snapped out of my self-despair when Otis coldly chuckled.
“You have some really twisted ideas, Dee.” My brow burrowing in confusion, it took me a minute to figure out what he was talking about.
“Wait, what?! No! That’s not what I meant!” ‘And the hole gets bigger. Keep digging, dumbass,’ my conscience yells at me.
“Then what did you mean, Dee? What were you trying to do?” Otis asked, his voice dripping with pain.
“I…I…” I didn’t know what to say. Because I’m such a bad liar, the truth tumbled over my lips instead of an excuse. “I’ve been having disturbing dreams lately! And… and this time I couldn’t control it. I’m so sorry! This was NOT supposed to happen.”
“Disturbing dreams? What’s going on, Dee? Do you need to see a psychiatrist or talk to someone?” The way Otis looked at me as he expressed his concern made me want to tell him everything. About Q. About the tests. About how stupid I am…
“No,” I lie. “I’ll work through it.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Otis mumbled something, but I couldn’t hear him over the movie. “Wait, what was that?”
Otis looked over at me, as if unsure of what he wanted to do. “Nothing. I just remembered I have a lot of work to do. Could you please leave?”
Those four words doused me with ice as Otis refused to look my way. “O…”
“We’ll talk later. Just go get yourself together.”
“Oh…okay.” I walk past him and realize as I leave that Nala and Simba have parted ways as well.
Tick. Tap. Tick. Tap.
It’s the only sound I hear as I slowly walk down the corridor. It’s a Friday night, so of course most of the people on my floor have gone out or went home for the weekend. Why then, was I still here? Why wasn’t I home with my family and NOT ruining the few friendships I have?
Getting warm, I remove the blanket from around me… dammit!
Otis’ blanket. The one that he gave me before the movie started.
Shaking my head in confused shock, I slowly turn around and look at the door that seems to hide more secrets than my own.
‘I should’ve realized I still had this,’ I think as I retrace my steps, wishing I could just run away. It never occurred to me that I could’ve just given it to him tomorrow in the safety of light until I was already pushing his door open.
His name died on my lips as my eyes strolled down to his hips, or rather, what was between his maltepe escort hips.
His eyes closed and pants undone, I laid eyes on a member of his family that I should have never had a chance to meet. There he was, giving himself pleasure as his body arched against the very friction of his scorching touch. A low growl rumbled through the room and its source wasn’t from any of the lions on the screen.
I grew weak in the knees, embarrassed when I should have looked away but the ache between my legs grew louder with each stroke and each pull Otis made.
My inner walls clasped down sharply at the sound of his moans and I had to let myself fall against the wall. Memories came back even sharper now, but they must be visions instead because… mmm, what’s his name?… had been replaced by Otis and he was doing the job just fine. I wanted his hands all over me, a pleasure I denied myself the first time around. I won’t be making the same mistake twice.
‘No! Don’t even think about it! Leave this place NOW!’ my conscience told me, and Lord knows I wanted to listen, but I couldn’t move. I was consumed with my own lust, my own wants, my own desires. I was trapped. I couldn’t move to leave and I couldn’t move to his lap and thrust him deep inside… AHHH!
I gasp at the erotic image, and the sound I made must have finally grabbed his attention. Otis looked at me with surprise, eyes wide as his hand went for that final stroke. “Dee!” he yelled before he came and left his juices all across his now bare chest. Whether he yelled in surprise or in ecstasy, I couldn’t tell. My eyes wouldn’t leave his body.
Stuffing his hardening member back into his boxers, Otis walked up to me. I froze as his arms reached out, but he only went to close the door I had forgotten I opened.
“Shit!” I heard him mumble as he locked the door. “Dee! What are you doing here? I told you we’d talk later.”
“I…you…blanket,” I lamely replied. I was still very aroused and I couldn’t look at him. Hell, I could barely keep myself standing.
“You could’ve kept it,” he said, his voice rough with passion. “You didn’t need to see that.”
I knew he was watching me intently, but my eyes were still locked on the place that he was sitting moments ago. Grabbing the shirt that he must’ve removed after I had left, Otis quickly wiped his chest dry. “Dammit, she’s in shock,” I heard him mumble.
‘Hell yeah, I’m in shock! You got a body that’s even more rockin’ than What’s-His-Face?!’ I think to myself. Why do I suddenly have a case of amnesia?
“Dee, I’m sorry. I know you’re still innocent. I should’ve locked the damn door.” Otis was running his fingers through his hair. Hair that was curly and pretty like Bruno Mars. ‘Damn… he does look like Bruno, doesn’t he? Except taller… much taller,’ I think to myself as my eyes suddenly began to travel up his back since he wasn’t looking at me.
For some unexplainable reason, Bruno Mars’ “Gorilla” started playing in my head and I knew I couldn’t stop my jungle of passion. I crept up behind him and pulled him flush against my body, my lips traveling over his back as my tongue darted out to taste him. His muscles tensing, Otis ripped himself away from me, stumbling onto his futon as he looked up at me in shock.
“What the hell, Dee? You’re doing it AGAIN,” Otis accused, trying to right himself on his futon. But I wouldn’t let him. I let the blanket fan out behind me as I put us in a position very similar to the one we were in earlier tonight.
“I’m sorry,” is what I murmur as I kiss up his chest, tasting the essence that he had tried so hard to rub off.
“Dee, stop…” Otis moaned.
I froze, not sure what to do. He said stop. I don’t want to rape him. That would be really bad. ‘Says the girl who raped Otis’ roommate just last month.’ Stupid conscience! You’re NEVER around when I need you the most!
Pouting, I got a hold of myself and put my head in my hands. I fall back onto my knees, wondering what in the hell I was trying to accomplish. I already sexed up a friend of mine that was blindfolded and drugged. Now I’m trying to sex up a friend of mine that clearly doesn’t want me because he KNOWS it’s me. And on top of that, my friends are ROOMMATES. Dammit, Dee! When did you stop thinking?!
Tears were rolling down my face at this point, and I didn’t realize Otis reached out to hold me until I was burying my cheek into his chest- the very same chest I was kissing only moments ago.
“I’m sorry…” is all I can say.
“It’s okay, Dee. Just don’t cry anymore.” Otis wrapped his blanket closer around me and I shook my head, not understanding the bubbles of warmth that seem to be cloaking my heart.
What’s wrong with me?
“Nothing’s wrong with you,” Otis declared. Did I say that out loud? “You’re fine. I’m the one with the problem.”
My cries quieting, I peek up at him. “What are you talking about?”
I could feel his chest arising against me as he took in a deep breath. “What I’m saying is that I can’t get a grip on my emotions. I’ve been catching feelings and I don’t need that. I don’t need that kind of drama in my life.”
Pushing away from him, I wrapped the blanket tighter around me as I looked at the TV. Oh goody, Simba’s having a heart-to-heart with his father. Dammit, I knew I should’ve gone home this weekend.
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