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“No, no, sleepy Noah sleep!” Navid was easing me gently off his chest and onto the comforter as he slid out of my bed. I’d slept snuggled onto his chest since my bed is just big enough for one. It felt so good sleeping against a muscled body that pumped out heat and a heart that pumped a steady rhythm all night long.
It was the morning after the first night he’d spent in my bed with me. We were up late last night and my dad had stopped by my room to say he was heading to bed.
Navid had started to get up and say he was heading home, but my dad told him it was ok to just spend the night here.
“Oh…” Navid froze. “If is ok with you, sir. I am very very tired. We go right to sleep, of course!” He added a yawn for good measure and my dad just laughed and gave a nod. He was greatly enjoying the fact that Navid spoke to him so respectfully.
Last night I’d gone to the LGBT student group on campus to vote for Erik and see my friends. Navid walked me all the way to the student center courtyard. He held back outside the rec center and watched me walk into the meeting.
He looked like he wanted a kiss, but the place was crowded, too many eyes. He went to the college gym instead and did a hard workout while I went to the meeting.
Erik won the vice president spot. It turns out that he didn’t even need my vote because there wasn’t anyone else running for it. But he did need me there to be his friend, to be his support. We all raised our hands when they called his name and then the secretary confirmed that he’d won. He jumped around a few times and then hugged me.
The meeting ended soon after the elections, but I wasn’t ready to text Navid yet. I knew he wanted to workout, but he also wouldn’t leave me standing around outside on my own. Erik and Miguel weren’t in a hurry to go home early either so we went to the juice bar and caught up on each others’ lives.
Erik was into some new wiccan guy he’d met on an app. Miguel wasn’t seeing anyone and he looked a little sad when I told them about things going well with Navid.
We finished up and I texted Navid who was already waiting outside at a small table sipping a coffee. He and Erik just nodded to each other without a word. I knew at some point I would have to do something to bring them together. Erik hugged me goodbye and I saw Navid’s lips flatten in disapproval.
It felt so incredible to spend the whole night in his arms. He kept one hand on the back of my head and the other on my bottom. I’d had the same, small bed since my dad got a really good tax return when I was ten years old, but now it would never be the same to sleep in without him.
“Go back to sleep, my baby,” Navid whispered as he pulled the covers up over my chest. He leaned down and kissed me with that smile that made my heart speed up as he tucked me in tightly. I nodded and closed my eyes as he padded out of the room wearing his boxers.
He came back in a few minutes later and closed my door quietly. I closed my eyes as he turned towards me, pretending to sleep. I felt his lips on my forehead and expected him to crawl back in with me, but he didn’t. I cracked one eye open just a little to see him facing my window and typing something on his phone. He held the phone up and moved in a circle until he found the right spot.
He sank to his knees then and set down his phone. He was facing the wall where my small closet was. He started whispering something and raised up to his feet with his hands lifted in front of him. He whispered more and then leaned forwards to put his hands on the floor. It looked like yoga. He was singing something in a very low voice and never looked back at me as I opened my eyes completely to watch.
He alternated positions and got to his feet several times. I realized he was doing prayers. We’d never much talked about his religion. It was personal and it felt wrong for me to watch him. It felt even more wrong how beautiful his ass looked as he stretched and raised it in the air. He finished and froze there in a kneeling position.
When he started to stir again, I closed my eyes and tried to look asleep. I felt his weight on the bed as he sat next to me and then his hand stroked my hair. He started the whispered singing noise again in his language as he swept over my forehead and then pressed gently on my heart.
I felt his lips against mine and I opened my eyes slowly like I’d just woken up.
“You went to pee?” I asked with a yawn as though I’d been out since before.
“Yes, and to do my prayers,” he admitted honestly as he brushed his fingers through my hair.
“You prayed for me?” I asked with interest.
“I’ve prayed for my princess since the day I could dream. Now you have a name so I give thanks and pray for protection that Allah watch over you and keep you by my side and safe in my arms for always.” Navid thoughtfully rubbed my hair. nişantaşı escort
From his position, his boxers were pushed over to his left and I saw the first few inches of his cock laying against his right thigh. I reached for it, but he took my hand and put it against his thigh instead.
“We are in your father’s house, my princess. He was kind enough to let me stay. I do not want to abuse his trust.” He was still being weird about doing things here.
“I’m sure he’s gone to work already… but we should get ready for class anyways,” I said, noting the time on the clock with my eyes. He nodded and then offered me his hand. We went off to shower together.
That week we had our final for the class we’d shared. He had signed up for one of my classes in the fall so we could be together again and our other classes were timed pretty close together. He didn’t really need to take another math, but he knew that is my worst subject and his best. It would definitely shift the power of our tutoring sessions.
I waited outside the classroom after finishing my final. It was a little difficult and I knew Navid would struggle with it. It’s not that he isn’t brilliant, but English isn’t his first language. I knew I already had an A in the class and Navid wasn’t too far off since we had done our projects together.
He came out of the classroom and blew a big puff of air with exhausted eyes. I got to my feet and he shrugged at me with a look as though demanding pity. I gave a hopeful smile.
“I need a hug and to kiss you so fiercely now,” he whispered. I knew he wouldn’t do it there in the hallway. He pushed me gently towards the exit so we could get to the car.
“It’s going to be ok!” I said trying to cheer him up as he slid into the driver seat. He had parked in a dark corner on a high floor in the parking garage so no one else was around us.
“It is done, Noah. Nothing left to think about.” Navid leaned over and slid his hand over my ear and cupped the back of my head. He pulled me in and we kissed as his other hand rubbed up my thigh. He slipped it down between my legs and rubbed two fingers between my cheeks.
I caught my breath and started to whine as he rubbed harder. My hole had gone a few days without his touch and it missed his expertise. I reached for his lap then and gripped along the outline of his growing pole.
“We go somewhere fun tonight, just two of us together, yes?” He whispered as he started to bite on my earlobe.
“Somewhere we can be together without worrying who is watching?” I asked between gasps of pleasure.
“The park up high? You want picnic me? We can pick up pizza!” He slid his tongue down my neck and started to nibble on my collarbone. He let his hand slip from my ass and reached around me to recline my seat. He pushed me all the way back and then climbed over the console to straddle me.
“Like West Hollywood. I haven’t been in awhile. It’s all gay people and no one will even look at us for kissing or holding hands. No one will know you… We won’t have to hide anything. It will be just another couple in the crowd. We can be… us,” I said.
Navid froze with an alarmed look. He looked down at me, considering my smile. He put his hands to my face and held my cheeks as he leaned down to me.
“It’s not me, Noah. I’ve driven through there. It is not a place I want for you. They are not like us,” He said with sadness. “I know you are too young to understand. It seems like a lot of fun, but we could get into trouble there. A young boy like you would be devoured by it.”
“I’ve been before. My dad takes me there for dinner sometimes when he has work over the hill. It’s not bad. It’s not like we’ll be naked!” I laughed and reached up to cup his cheek.
“You don’t understand, my sweet one.” His face darkened and he pulled away from me. He crawled back over to the driver seat and sighed.
“So tell me…” I whispered. Something was starting to gnaw at my chest. All the hiding was fun at first, but my patience was wearing out.
“Tell me why it’s wrong for us to be in love or show that love in public like regular people. Tell me why you’re ashamed of me or of us. What’s wrong with me being with people like me? What’s wrong with me loving you if you say you feel the same way?” I couldn’t look over at him or I knew I would break my resolve to say this.
Navid reached for my hands. I thought he just wanted to hold them, but then he unclenched my fists.
“No, Noah. Don’t hurt yourself please. I’m sorry. It’s me… I didn’t grow up like you. Your father accepts how you were born and wants happiness for you no matter what your culture says.” He started.
“Your parents don’t want you to be happy?” I asked.
“They do, of course! But in my culture there are different expectations. It is expected that I will return to my country and marry and have children. It is what my parents want for me and what my people expect of me. It is ok for men to ortaköy escort have what we have, but in secret. There are always wives and children to cover it up. It is not something we parade in the streets or discuss.” He said while keeping his eyes on my hands.
“So it’s wrong to do this, to love you… it can not work in your culture. But here it is ok. You didn’t come to California to live like you could in Iran. You’re free here. What are you worried about?” I let my fingers interlace with his stronger, furrier, darker ones and rubbed him playfully.
“It is not so simple as that. I have freedom here but they also have eyes. To be caught in a scandal here would shame them greatly. They have many friends here. They check in on me. It is what families do to protect each other. It is how we survive as a people. You are allowed and expected to stray from your tribe. In my culture we belong to our tribe. It’s why they allowed me to come to Los Angeles. There are many Persians here that know my family. We are connected. They would talk and word travels fast. I can’t allow that.” He whispered it like someone was listening outside the car.
He smoothed out my hands against my thighs and covered them with his left hand. His right hand went to my cheek and he turned my eyes to look at him. He looked like he was about to cry and I instantly melted.
“I didn’t know that. I’m sorry…” I started, but then my resolve recovered as I started to piece some things together. My brain clicked and clacked onto some very dark realities. “But wait! Wait a minute!! You knew that when you met me… right? You knew that when you talked to me, kissed me, gave me my first sexual experience. You knew all that and still… You let me fall in love with you.”
“I did… I couldn’t help myself. You were so soft and adorable. You smelled so sweet and innocent. You were so nervous and helpless. You were untouched earth unlike the boys here who like other boys. You are good, so perfect. I knew that if I didn’t take you, protect you… someone else would. They would use your kind heart and break it without caring. I couldn’t let that happen… I didn’t choose you, Noah, love did.” Navid shook his head in frustration. His eyes were reddening, but he didn’t cry.
I sat there and stared at him as I sifted through all that he said. It was a very sweet pile of bullshit. I was his holiday from life.
“So there is this time limit on us… a ticking bomb that neither of us can defuse. We have how long until it blows up? Do you already know that? That’s just… really fucked up.” I was getting angry.
“Noah, is not like that at all… We don’t know what will happen in the future. No one is promised tomorrow. We must make the most of today and enjoy the love we have.” Navid frowned.
“Fuck that… I’ll pull the trigger first.” I whispered. I pulled the handle on the car door and slid out. He didn’t try to pull me back like last time. He still felt bad about the bruise and kissed my arm with sadness every time he saw it.
“Noah please don’t go!” Navid was following me across the shadows of the parking garage. He caught up to me near the back stairway and sank to his knees in front of me. “Please baby. I will figure out way. I make this work. We can go to the gay land tonight. I make it special for you.”
“I can’t be your secret knowing that at any minute you choose it could all be over. That’s… a leap with no net.” I folded my arms and looked towards the empty parking level. He rose up in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders.
“I know. Is not fair to you, my love. Give me time, Noah. I can’t change thousand years of my culture in snap of finger… but I love you. You are what is good for me here. I will figure out way for us to be together. My heart is so torn but it can’t survive without you. Please give me time.” His voice was shakier and I looked up to see his lips quivering and I understood. I understood that he had all these expectations on him of how a man should be and behave.
“You have to meet me halfway here. Try to get along with my friends. They are important to me. They want to get to know you too. We can’t just be with your friends. None of them like me anyways except Aram.” I softened under his touch.
“They like you! Of course they do! No, no. You misunderstand, my sweet princess.” He started to laugh and sniffed back his nose.
“And I’m not a princess!” I yelled and interrupted him with a light push to the center of his chest. His laugh spread into a wide grin and look of admiration that I spoke up.
“You are MY princess. Is not insult! Is promise! I know you are boy, but to me you receive my seed, my gifts, my love. Is my promise to defend and serve you with all that I am. You are one who rule my heart.” He looked at me pleadingly.
“And my friends. They like you of course for sure! But in my culture. When two are together as one, there is stronger and weaker of partners. It is respectful to address the stronger pendik escort bayan only. We are together as one. I am the hard, protective shell and you are the beautiful and delicious inside. We are like M&M! I am candy coating. I am the first that is encountered and addressed. To look away from you means they respect that you are protected under me. I am responsible for you and the first to get hurt or pay the price. They know that if get too close to you, the wrath of your protector would be stirred. I cover my prin… baby.” Navid had been working on using analogies. This one wasn’t entirely awful.
“Aram is nice to me. He does talk to me. Does he not respect you?” I asked.
“Aram is like my brother. What I protect, he also cares for. We grow up in families that are very close and are friends since birth. If he had a you, I would do the same. He also may have eyes for you, but would never take what is mine.” Navid rubbed my cheek.
“Ok…” I nodded. “Promise me you’ll try with Erik though? He’s not a bad guy, and he defended and took care of me long before you met me. I wouldn’t be the same without him.”
“I promise… can we go now? I take you for special things tonight and I am develop headache from too much English. Your language hurt my brain,” Navid said and nudged me back towards his car.
We got on the freeway and headed down towards the city. Navid called my dad from the car and got his permission.
“You sure you want to go here? We could go to Santa Monica pier tonight and ride something and play the carnival games. I win big for you! We find dark place on the beach to lay together!” Navid said as he exited Wilshire. He kept my hand in his lap and rubbed it gently every time we slowed for traffic.
“Maybe another night. But tonight I need this… ok? And I’m paying! No argument.” I proclaimed. I hadn’t paid for anything with him before.
Every time I took out my wallet with him, he looked at me like I was insulting him. I hadn’t made an issue out of it because I really had no job or money and my dad doesn’t make much. My father had greatly enjoyed the savings since I still had the lunch money he’d given me the first week of summer school.
“You kill me, Noah. You really do,” he laughed, but turned east towards the gayborhood. He parked on a narrow little side street and seemed to zip into a spot barely big enough to fit his car.
“Ok so you pay and we go to my favorite place in America,” He said with a smile when we walked down to Santa Monica Blvd.
“Sure, wherever you want!” I thought about the 22 dollars in my wallet.
“They look at my boy… Is not right,” Navid noted unhappily through gritted teeth as we walked slowly past the bars.
“I think they’re looking at you! I’m a small gay boy, that’s not exotic here. You’re the big buff Persian prince.” I laughed and tried to grab his hand. He jumped a little but then let me interlace my fingers with his. He squeezed my hand and looked around to notice that no one stared or seemed surprised.
“See? It’s not so bad. If they are looking, it’s because they’re jealous that I have you,” I said as we stopped at a crosswalk.
“This is big for me, Noah. I do not know this world,” he whispered. He looked so helpless, like a puppy in the rain. “I want to kiss you so bad,” he continued.
I looked around and pulled him towards an alley. There was a dark spot close to an abandoned phone booth. I pulled him in front of me and he instantly pushed me back against the brick wall. He slid his hand up the back of my shirt and leaned into me, his chest pressed against mine so close I could feel his heartbeat.
“My baby,” he whispered. “I hurt you so much, but I can’t let you go. Please to not give up on me. I die without you.” He buried his lips into the side of my neck and whimpered against my shoulder.
“I won’t, Naveeeeed.” I stretched out his name as his teeth rubbed against sensitive spots on my neck.
We made out for a few minutes until he heard my tummy rumble from hunger.
“I must feed my prin… boy,” he caught himself.
“I pay though!” I reminded him weakly as he pulled away from me.
“Yes, my favorite place is close to here,” He said happily and took my hand again. He led me up Santa Monica until we arrived there… It was the same sandwich place we ate at all the time for lunch with locations across the world.
“No, for reals? Let’s go somewhere nice. This should be special! We have a million of these in the valley,” I begged. I knew what he was doing. He didn’t want to cost me money. Plus we ate here on campus at least twice a week.
“I travel 1,500 miles across ocean so someday I can eat this magical sandwich with boy of my dreams. Is this not you? Are you not my magic? I need find other Noah to make my dream come true?” He laughed but the subtext was that he was set on this.
“Ok, but you’re getting extra meat and a cookie too!” We were under the streetlamp so I touched my finger to his lips and he kissed it sweetly.
We ate outside and watched the streetlife. I was hoping we’d see passing examples of professional looking couples enjoying a responsible evening. We did see a few of those, but we saw a lot more of loud, party guys. Every time we caught their attention or one of them gave us a “Hi!”, Navid squeezed my hand under the table to show his jealousy.
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